12/6/2018 0 Comments
It's not just me, right? Making changes to eating habits and lifestyle is difficult. You're fed up with how you feel. You're serious about wanting to change. You come up with a plan that seems reasonable and achievable and a few weeks or months later you're right back where you started wondering what went wrong. We've all been there. Most of us more than once. And it's frustrating and demoralising and just gives us one more reason to feel bad about ourselves.
So why is it so hard, and how can we make it easier?
There are a multitude of different challenges that we can face as we try to make changes to our diet or lifestyle habits, but the biggest underlying issue for most people is trying to dive straight into the physical changes without taking the time to do the mental work first.
We all know that our mind can be both our best friend and our worst enemy. It allows us to learn, think, create and express, see potential and feel excitement for what we can do. But just as it can imagine exhilarating possibilities it can also envisage devastating failure and fill us with feelings of fear and doubt. And all of that within 30 seconds!
Eeeeek! Another year almost gone! Fair to say that I lost 2017 sometime around the middle of the year and never caught up! So as the start of 2018 looms on the horizon I'm turning my mind to how I can keep myself better on track in the New Year, while still retaining a sense of freedom and flexibility.
Whether or not you're a serious New Year's resolution setter, this time of year tends to be one of reflection and contemplation. When we can find a moment in amongst all the busy-ness of the holiday season of course!
As you look back on the year that was and forward to the year that will be, what stands out most for you? Did you have goals for 2017, and if so, did you achieve them?
I'm sure that whether or not you are setting formal goals for 2018, there will be things that you want for and from the year. As you set your goals or quietly contemplate your hopes and dreams for 2018, here are few tips to help you manifest your desires in the year ahead.
I think it's probably fair to say we all have habits we're proud of and ones we'd rather like to change in all areas of our lives. I know that I have lots of good habits that contribute positively towards creating the health and vitality that I want now and for the rest of my life, and I also know I have a few that undermine it! It's important to remember that the little things you do every day have a much greater impact than the things you do only occasionally, so if you're wanting to create greater wellbeing for yourself the best place to start is with some small daily habits to nourish you body, mind and soul.
Let me be upfront and say I have no concrete evidence on how these habits actually impact my health, but I enjoy them, I feel like I'm taking care of myself by doing them, and I have noticed positive changes in my wellbeing that I would attribute to them. I would encourage everyone to create their own morning and evening wellness routines and in doing that I would utterly recommend paying as much attention to what feels right to you as to what other people tell you are the 'right things' to do. I'm not sharing my routine with you because I think it is somehow 'ideal' or even suited to everyone, merely to try and help inspire you to think about creating regular practises for yourself that nourish your body, mind and soul.
I'm seeing a lot of people struggling at the moment, whether with personal tragedies or just trying to find their way in this volatile world, and so it seemed like a good time to look out and share with you an article we wrote quite some time ago about Negotiating the Tough Times (link at the end).
It'd be great to think that as we become more conscious and understand the active role we can play in choosing how we view and interpret the world around us, that we would be protected from becoming besieged by emotions such as grief, anxiety and stress. That we would be safe from the darkness. The reality is though that life still happens. Events occur that unsettle us, and we find ourselves struggling despite our best efforts to keep on an even keel.
It's incredibly important when you find yourself battling with these 'negative' emotions to recognise that there is nothing wrong with experiencing these feelings. It's not a sign of weakness or failure. It's life in the real world.
A post from Danielle LaPorte has appeared on my Facebook feed a few times recently and was partly what inspired me to write this. The first thing to tell yourself when you’re in hell: This pain WILL end. I love that! Change is the only constant in life after all. Something we don't want to think about when everything is rosy and just how we want it to be, but something that can be our lifebuoy when things are at the other end of the spectrum. Things are constantly changing. This pain WILL end.
Please don't be afraid to seek help when you find yourself struggling. And remember that family and friends might not always be best placed to give you the support you need, so be prepared to look for someone who has relevant expertise to help you.
Here's the link to the article: Negotiating the Tough Times. I hope you find it helpful. What tricks and techniques do you have for getting yourself through life's challenges? Share them in the comments below - you never know who you might help!
This is the fifth and final instalment in our Boundaries versus Barriers collaboration with Rachel Freemon Sowers. If you didn't catch the rest of the series you can find them here: Boundaries versus Barriers (Part I), Boundaries versus Barriers (Part II), Boundaries versus Barriers (Part III) and Boundaries versus Barriers (Part IV).
I must say I’m feeling a little sad writing this last instalment in our Boundaries versus Barriers journey… I’ve had so much fun working with Rachel and the This Authentic Feminine Life group and the month has gone so fast!
This week we’re talking about how we keep the momentum going as our series comes to an end. Maybe you’re now feeling confident applying a new boundary or maybe you are still working on creating that initial vision for yourself of how you want to be interacting with the world around you. No matter what progress you have made during our time together we want to congratulate you for having invested in yourself by taking this journey with us. Whether you feel like you’ve made a small step or a large stride in the last few weeks, you have started on a positive path to building the life that you want to have. Now it’s about keeping up that momentum and implementing the changes that you have identified. Remember as you continue on this journey that we at The Upward Spiral Project and This Authentic Feminine Life are always here for you. Reach out to us at any time for encouragement or support.
As we talked about early on in the series, life is always changing, and our journey is ever-evolving. We need to keep checking in with ourselves, seeing what is working and what is not. Ask yourself regularly, do you have a sense of freedom and ease as you go about your life, and if not, what needs to change?
This is the fourth instalment in the Boundaries versus Barriers collaboration with Rachel Freemon Sowers. If you didn't catch the first three you can find them here: Boundaries versus Barriers (Part I), Boundaries versus Barriers (Part II) and Boundaries versus Barriers (Part III).
I wanted to start this week with a quick reminder if you haven’t watched all four of the Truth Serum Tuesday episodes in our series so far to make sure to check them out on This Authentic Feminine Life. As well as loads of valuable content, there’s an infectious energy about them that you don’t want to miss!
You may not have thought of it this way, but at its heart our Boundaries versus Barriers series is a change process. Whether you’ve focused on releasing a barrier that was holding you back, or creating a boundary to give yourself peace and freedom, you’re changing how you interact with the world.
Change is a concept that makes a lot of people nervous. Whether you’re dealing with large scale or small adjustments, change can be challenging to work through. When you think about it though, not changing is a much more scary option. Imagine if you went through your entire adult life without learning and growing. Would you want to be the same person at 50 that you were at 20?
This is the third instalment in the Boundaries versus Barriers collaboration with Rachel Freemon Sowers. If you didn't catch the first two you can find them here: Boundaries versus Barriers (Part I) and Boundaries versus Barriers (Part II).
Wow, week three of our series already! I hope everyone is having as much fun taking part in the series as we are bringing it to you.
This week we’re checking in to make sure that as we’re doing this work we’re always coming from a place of deep self-love. No one thrives when they are being constantly criticised and belittled. Yet so often that’s exactly how we treat ourselves isn’t it? We demand levels of perfection from ourselves that we would never ask of anyone else. We get caught up worrying about how we’re doing compared to others. We let self-doubt and criticism invade our thoughts. And then we wonder why things feel like such a struggle!
This is the second instalment in the Boundaries versus Barriers collaboration with Rachel Freemon Sowers. If you didn't catch lasts week's post with the introduction to this series you can check it out here: Boundaries versus Barriers (Part I).
The first step in developing boundaries and freeing yourself from repressive barriers is developing deep self-awareness and self-love. This is a vital ingredient to creating a life of Fierce Confidence, Laser Clarity and Passionate Purpose.
Developing Fierce Confidence while living your life surrounded by defensive barriers is an uphill battle. Remember Danielle LaPorte’s analogy of “barriers are like a shield you drag around - ready to defend yourself from attacks”? Living that way tends to create anxiety and stress and destroy confidence.
You may be intimidated at the thought of setting boundaries. Creating healthy boundaries can feel like a risk – the risk of hurting or offending people. Often what stops us from setting or honouring our boundaries is a desire to protect others. We put our needs second to try and make things easier or better for someone else. It’s important to remember that not having healthy boundaries also exposes you to risk of hurting or offending people. Without boundaries you face an increased chance of situations arising that cause you to feel overwhelmed and defensive and as a result to react in a way that isn’t aligned with your authentic values. Boundaries are about creating freedom. When you don’t have empowering boundaries established you prevent yourself from reaching your true potential and living your authentic life and that serves no one.
So this month we've got something a bit different going on for the blog. I've been lucky enough to be given the opportunity to work on a collaboration with the lovely Rachel Freemon Sowers in her This Authentic Feminine Life Facebook group.
Rachel does a weekly vlog on This Authentic Feminine Life called 'Truth Serum Tuesday' where she explores common issues that hold us back from living our best and most authentic lives. For the month of May she has decided to do a series digging deep on the topic of Boundaries versus Barriers and invited me to collaborate with her on that. So I'll be sharing here the weekly written content that I'm contributing to the series and for the ladies (sorry fellas, Rachel's Facebook group is a gals only space), you can join the This Authentic Feminine Life group on Facebook to access to the vlog posts as well.
Boundaries versus Barriers – do you understand the difference? Do you have and use boundaries successfully in your life? Or do you feel like you don’t have any boundaries and wish that you did? Have your ever found yourself saying yes to someone when you really wanted to say no? What do your friends say to you about having boundaries?
Tip: If you haven’t viewed the Truth Serum Tuesday starting off this Boundaries versus Barriers series it’s definitely worth a watch! You can view it here (remember you'll have to join the This Authentic Feminine Life group first): https://www.facebook.com/groups/ThisAuthenticFeminineLife/videos/
Giving feels good. We all know that. We’ve all experienced the joy of giving at some point in our lives. As human beings we have an innate need for meaning and purpose, and it has been widely documented that when you strip them back to basics, most of the ways we find true meaning are through helping others. Making others feel good makes us feel good, pure and simple.
Another wonderful benefit of giving is that it promotes an Abundance mindset. A view of the world as a place of plentiful resources and opportunity for everyone. Recognition of the benefits and value to be gained by working for mutual success and achievement rather than viewing others as competition that we have to beat to get ahead. That's quite a different view of the world to the one many of us will have grown up with.