Boundaries versus Barriers (Part IV)

This is the fourth instalment in the Boundaries versus Barriers collaboration with Rachel Freemon Sowers. If you didn't catch the first three you can find them here: Boundaries versus Barriers (Part I), Boundaries versus Barriers (Part II) and Boundaries versus Barriers (Part III).

I wanted to start this week with a quick reminder if you haven’t watched all four of the Truth Serum Tuesday episodes in our series so far to make sure to check them out on This Authentic Feminine Life. As well as loads of valuable content, there’s an infectious energy about them that you don’t want to miss!

You may not have thought of it this way, but at its heart our Boundaries versus Barriers series is a change process. Whether you’ve focused on releasing a barrier that was holding you back, or creating a boundary to give yourself peace and freedom, you’re changing how you interact with the world.

Change is a concept that makes a lot of people nervous. Whether you’re dealing with large scale or small adjustments, change can be challenging to work through. When you think about it though, not changing is a much more scary option. Imagine if you went through your entire adult life without learning and growing. Would you want to be the same person at 50 that you were at 20?

While it’s not always easy, change is what keeps life interesting and fresh. I’ve recently been working on a guide to change for another project and I’m excited to be able to offer you all free access to it. If you’re interested in reading more about change and making it work for you, head over to http://resources.theupwardspiralproject.com/tamingchange/ and get your free copy of the guide.

This week we’re talking about support. Support is such an important part of any change process. Finding not just any support, but the right support, is crucial. Having the best people around you who will offer you encouragement and celebrate your growth will make your journey easier and more successful.

Ironically sometimes close friends and family members don’t make the best support crew when you want to make changes. They love you for who you are and although they undoubtedly mean well, can undermine your efforts with messages such as ‘you’re fine just as you are, you don’t need to change’. They can also be intimidated or frightened by your desire to change, although they may not even be aware of these feelings. This can cause them to (consciously or unconsciously) sabotage your hard work.

Some of the things you may be looking for in support are the exact same things we talked about giving yourself last week.You want kindness and compassion. You want someone who is going to hold you accountable to the commitment you have made to yourself, and you want people who can hold space for you.

When someone holds space for you they walk alongside you on your journey without judgement, without trying to fix you or tell you what to do. They offer you the precious gift of their uninterfering presence.

Finding appropriate support can sometimes seem challenging and almost impossible, but stick with it. Don’t be afraid to take your time to find the right support or to change your support crew along the way if things aren’t working for you. Don’t forget that you can reach out to Rachel or me anytime at This Authentic Feminine Life or The Upward Spiral Project.

Can you relate to this? We'd love for you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.